Once upon a time, I was a size-10 twenty-something who loved to thrift and experiment with her personal style. I was joyful, but I also felt unmoored. I hadn’t quite figured myself out. I was afraid that if I didn’t jump on the bandwagon, life would pass me by and I would regret not having a career, house, kids, and husband–all the things I was supposed to want.
So I married a good-looking, looks-good-on-paper man, got a corporate job, took out a mortgage, and started shopping at Banana Republic. I wasn’t living the life I wanted; I was living the life I was told I should want. It was untenable, and at the age of 31, it all unraveled.
I moved out of the house with the looks-good-on-paper man, quit my corporate job and followed my dream by enrolling in a three-year Creative Writing master’s program. It was not an easy decision. I worried that I was too old—then I thought: If, when I’m 90, I look back and see that I didn’t do something because I thought I was too old, I’ll think, “You were so stupid.”
That, I realized, is the person I most want to please: future Eimile, the one who will look back at her life and decide if it was meaningful, if it was fulfilling. She is not someone who cares much about what other people find impressive. I have never looked back on something I did and thought, “I hated doing that, but other people thought it was cool,” and felt happy. The moments I’m most proud of are the times I was unapologetically myself, even when it was unpopular or difficult.
Now I’m 42. I have a partner who is my best friend and the man of my dreams. I have a closet full of colorful clothes (stick around and you’ll see more of them). I have a home that brings me joy and hobbies that bring me fulfillment.
I’m no longer interested in following trends or proving my worth by climbing the corporate ladder. I’m interested in cultivating a life that is meaningful to me and expressing my truest self. If that interests you, I hope you’ll follow along. Let’s make our future selves proud!
eimile thrifts 